Mary asks… Social Phobia? I’ve been reading up lately about Social Phobia . I’m pretty sure i have it, but i’m so scared.. The symtoms work; i blush excessively! i sweat a lot and i get a stomach ache when i’m in social situations that can be embaressing or when i think i could be in a situation like this. I was reading up things to do to stop it on the net, but the only advice is see your doctor. I really dont want to do this. I dont even know where the doctors is and i never go there. My mum has a type of phobia like this called Agrophobia, it’s like this just much worse. I’m scared I may grow up to be like this, as it is probably inherited. But i really dont know what to do, there’s nobody i can really talk to about this, as its too embaressing! Please help me. And don’t just say ‘See your doctor’ This isn’t something i want to do, i know i should, but this isn’t really telling me something i dont know. Thanks so much.. Jonjune answers: I lived this life for years. I didn’t leave my house for 9 month’s when it first began. I know how frightening this is and the fear you have when you go out manifest’s itself into more, you have a lot of good advice here, take it slow, avoid being in large crowd’s, understand that everyone is NOT looking at you . I tried the medicine route, i tried the therapist’s, these didnt work for me. It boils down to self confidence hun, and your ability to face your fear… Try to figure out what makes you afraid in a sociol situation, understanding what is going on is half of the battle…I had my worst attack at my old work, in the end i passed out, woke up, and realized that ,that was it, that was all that was ever going to happen, once i realized that this “thing” wasnt going to kill me as i had thought befor i got better..i now work in a store with alot of customers and most times i am the only one there….i have my moments still but there just little ones…Dont be afraid to be afraid , we all fear something….god bless and good luck to you Mark asks… social phobia? I have social phobia , what can I do to lessen it w/o resorting to poping a pill. Jonjune answers: First, thank you for being smart enough not to take pills to treat a phobia. Psych meds are not very healthy in the long run. Second, phobias are hard to deal with and i would reconmend seeing a psychologist (not psychiatrist, they are paid by medical insurance companies only if they prescribe you with meds). If you cannot afford it, try to go to social settings and relax yourself as much as possible, meditate if possible. If you fall asleep in a social setting you are definitely improving this phobia. After so many times of reaching a peak in relaxation in a social setting, you will immediately feel comfortable in settins such as malls and parks. Lizzie asks… Social phobia…? Im 15 years old. I have been bullied all my life in school since the 3rd grade. After about 5th grade… it caused me to have social phobia because people would always torment my looks and my “BIG BONEDNESS” Its caused me to drop outta school and forced to be locked up in my house. Like i cant go outside if a neighbor is standing there… i always have like this shyness that he/she is looking at my appearence. Is there like a way i could treat this? I used to be social and have friends and everything, but the past 4 years ive been kind of a loner. Which i like very much. I dont know, i just love being by myself. Jonjune answers: Well if you really want to get rid of your problem. You just have to be brave. You have to understand that soem people will like youm, and some will not. If you have a hobby you enjoy, try getting out there and joining a club or something. The best way to meet people is to meet people with similar interests. Above all, don’t be afraid and just have fun! Donald asks… Social……..phobia?????????? Ok,so here is my story… I’ve been in a long rush trough my life ,it all begun at the age of 14 when i had severe depression treated with antidepressants.I was very very anxious&stressed&co. later i became socialy isolated and very shy, i think it’s because my dopamine was depleted in that strong depression (full 3 months of panic attacks + more) I had some other problems that induced my social phobia ,I had severe acne & scars wich made me impossible to talk/look/carry a conversation with people,i was extremly stressed 2 years like passing out every day with my mouth dry. However my acne was treated and i have no longer scars,the fact is that all my past friends are gone and I became isolated,there is one major problem in all this bullshit. THE PROBLEM IS THAT I HAVE EXTREME ANXIETY AT MEETINGS,after I meet someone that i know i can carry a conversation but I just cant meet that person so i just keep runing from them ,i can’t look in their eyes i preffer ignoring my old friends…what’s wrong with me ? i find it impossible to meet someone just like say ”HI,HOW ARE YOU” im always feeling heartbeat and my blood running like a train when I see the person girl or boy.But if i can do a good salute everything goes well,it’s just i fear to met them,what the heck is this ???? anyway it’s very strange that im not anxious with unknown persons,just with girls when it comes to meet them.But i’m terrified of my old friends,maybe it’s linked to my past or something?And even if I meet a new person and after some weeks I meet him again i’m terrified of the meeting (shaking hands,saying hello,etc) but as I told..im afraid of meetings. someone experienced this ? is it normal ? Jonjune answers: View the information and weblinks for social anxiety/shyness, and self confidence, in sections 9, and 38, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris Here is an exercise that can help you. It is called “Act as If.” When you are in a social situation, act as if you are outgoing. Talk more, smile at everyone, ask questions, speak in a normal or excited tone, not a meek tone. Watch some of your outgoing peers, and imitate the style of their social behavior. Research shows that when you “act as if” continually, your image of yourself begins to conform to your new behavior. In this case, you will gain self-esteem and self-confidence, and begin to see yourself as socially normal, not shy. You will become more socially successful, and this will motivate you to continue your new social behavior until it becomes a habit. Try this for a month, in every situation you can. I am confident that you will become much more comfortable and outgoing. One form of therapy is to go somewhere that nobody knows you, and deliberately make an utter fool of yourself: put on a paper hat, and scream out: “I’m queen/king of America!”, or something else ridiculous, then get back in the taxi, (warn the driver of your intentions, first) or car, and leave. People will point, and say: “Look at that idiot”. But, you’re probably not up to the stage where you can do that, yet (I can, and I used to be shy). It will teach you that, although it isn’t actually pleasant, you will survive; be stronger for the experience, and the next time (should you need to repeat this type of therapy) will be considerably easier. Remember: “A fear avoided is a fear strengthened; a fear faced is a fear reduced.” Regard it as your final test: once you have accomplished it, the barrier will be broken; just don’t go too far, the other way! Learn to laugh at yourself, and give a big, cheesy grin when others see you do something foolish, as we all do, occasionally. It is endearing, if you don’t do it too often. Use positive affirmations: for example: “I am very likable and other people feel comfortable around me”. Write down all of your self limiting beliefs; then write down the positive counter of them, (exact opposite) and repeat them and imprint them into your mind. Most importantly: Force yourself to approach somebody and initiate some sort of communication. Start out small by asking the time and directions and gradually go bigger. Although there are anti-anxiety medications (anxiolytics) available, these come with risks, and the possibility of side effects, habituation, even addiction, and withdrawal problems, and are unsuitable for young people. Try having a cup of “Tension Tamer”, herbal tea, by Celestial Seasonings, (from supermarket tea, or health food aisles) or make some at home, and cool, then bottle, and drink as needed (I find it so strong tasting, that I need to drink it quickly, followed by something like fruit juice, to take away the taste, but others may find it more tolerable). C(h)amomile tea is a more palatable option. As with all herbal/green teas, use lemon/lime, and/or a little sweetener (NOT ARTIFICIAL!!!) but no cream, or milk. Panic: see section 8. Anxiety: section 6: view page N first. Look people on the top of the bridge of the nose, instead of the eyes. You could try “shaping” to salute, but if civilians are involved, change it to scratching your forehead, as a substitute. Ruth asks… What is the difference between Social Phobia and Avoidant Personality Disorder? How can you tell if you have Avoidant Personality Disorder or a severe case of Social Phobia ? Jonjune answers: Research suggests that people with avoidant personality disorder, in common with social phobics, excessively monitor their own internal reactions when they are involved in social interaction. However, unlike social phobics they also excessively monitor the reactions of the people with whom they are interacting. The extreme tension created by this monitoring may account for the hesitant speech and taciturnity of many people with avoidant personality disorder. They are so preoccupied with monitoring themselves and others that producing fluent speech is difficult. Avoidant personality disorder is reported to be especially prevalent in people with anxiety disorders, although estimates of comorbidity vary widely due to differences in (among others) diagnostic instruments. Research suggests that approximately 10–50% of the people who have a panic disorder with agoraphobia have APD, as well as about 20–40% of the people who have a social phobia (social anxiety disorder). Some studies report prevalence rates of up to 45% among the people with generalized anxiety disorder and up to 56% of the people with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Although it is not mentioned in the DSM-IV, earlier theorists have proposed a personality disorder which has a combination of features from borderline personality disorder and avoidant personality disorder, called “avoidant-borderline mixed personality” Powered by Yahoo! Answers Related Blogs