Ian Kerner , a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex weekly on The Chart. Read more from him on his website, GoodInBed. With the recent vote against gay marriage in North Carolina and President Obama’s support of marriage equality , same-sex relationships are making headlines. But my colleagues and I have less political concerns: We’re focused on helping our gay, lesbian, and bisexual clients navigate their way through many of same relationship hurdles that heterosexual clients face. Couples of all orientations find themselves struggling with the same issues, from mismatched libidos to sex ruts to infidelity. “The underlying dynamics are identical,” says Emily Nagoski, sex educator and author of " A Scientific Guide to Successful Relationships ." “They may play out differently because of the differences in gender or because of external social pressures, but the rules are the same – and there's some clear indications that gay couples are actually better at following those rules than straight couples!” Nagoski pointed me to a 12-year study of same-sex couples by eminent marriage therapist Dr. John Gottman, which concluded that all couple types – straight or gay – have many of the same issues and the same paths to staying happy together. But Gottman’s research also indicated that gay/lesbian couples are more upbeat in the face of conflict and, compared to straight couples, use more affection and humor when they bring up a disagreement. "When it comes to emotions, we think these couples may operate with very different principles than straight couples,” says Gottman. “Straight couples may have a lot to learn from gay and lesbian relationships." Studies suggest, for instance, that gay male couples tend to have sex more often than any other type of couples, while lesbian couples tend to have the least amount of sex. Since women often value emotional intimacy over sexual intimacy, low sex drive may not be a concern. Likewise, two men who have strong libidos may be able to accommodate their sexual desires within an open relationship. “A number of my gay clients prefer to be sexually open but emotionally monogamous,” says sex and relationship therapist Joe Kort . “They can have lovers on the side and not have it be a threat to the relationship.” It’s a type of male coupledom that sex columnist Dan Savage has famously termed “monogamish” – but it’s not necessarily unique to gay relationships. “Overall, men are good at compartmentalizing sexual and emotional feelings,” explains Kort. “It’s a guy thing, not a gay thing.” At the same time, gay and lesbian couples can have unique concerns that just don’t exist in straight relationships. For example, “each partner may be in a different stage of coming out,” says Kort. “If one partner is more ‘out’, he or she may push for things that the other partner might not feel comfortable with yet, like meeting one another's families or being physically affectionate in public.” Gender can also play a big role in the way couples relate to each other, in and out of the bedroom, and same-sex couples are no exception. In general, says Kort, women tend to focus on emotional intimacy, while men can be more emotionally distant. Lesbian and gay couples may benefit from counseling when both partners strongly have these characteristics. In other words, a female couple may be so closely bonded that they want to work on nurturing their individual selves, while counseling can help a male couple learn how to better open up to each other. If you’re considering counseling, it pays to do your research. “Your therapist doesn’t have to be gay or lesbian, but he or she should be absolutely be gay and lesbian-informed, not just gay and lesbian-friendly,” explains Kort. That includes having deep insight into the often-subtle differences between same-sex and heterosexual couples, from concerns about discrimination and being ‘out’, to childhood influences, to sexual issues. Filed under: Living Well , Relationships , Sex Tagged: Ian Kerner Ph.D. – sex counselor

Reader CheesePlease gave this crustless quiche a healthy Irish twist. She shared her recipe in our Healthy Recipe group . With Irish cheddar, Irish potatoes, and Guinness caramelized onions, this crustless quiche is a great, healthy way to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day. Plus, thanks to kale and spinach, it still incorporates a bit of festive green. For the recipe and directions, visit her blog, Cheese Please . Share your own recipes in our Healthy Recipe group , and we may feature yours on our homepage!

The November-December edition of the journal Pain Research and Management describes a sad state of affairs that many patients and physicians are frustratingly aware of: “Despite many recent advances in the past 40 years in the understanding of pain mechanisms, and in pain diagnosis and management, considerable gaps in knowledge remain, with chronic pain present Related posts: Acupuncture vs. Headaches Acupuncture Controversy Healthy Pregnancies and Acupuncture Bee Venom Therapy Dr. Oz and Sauna Therapy

The beginning of the year is when many people vow to lose weight, and it's also when U.S. News & World Report releases their annual  Best Diet rankings, which is based on information from scientific journals, government reports and various health and nutrition experts nationwide. There are several categories for the top spot.  No. 1 on the Best Diets Overall list (out of 25 contenders) for 2012 is the DASH – Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension – diet. The publication ranks Weight Watchers . as the No. 1 "Easiest Diet to Follow." The best diet for diabetics is the  Biggest Loser Diet and No. 1 in "Best Heart-Healthy Diets" is the  Ornish diet, according to U.S. News & World Report. "All of these programs have common denominators," said Marjorie Nolan, spokesperson for the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics, who is not involved in the magazines rankings.  "They all have a level of accountability worked into them, where they have a certain support system and different options," she said. "They generally all promote writing your food down, healthy amounts of exercise and they're all really convenient." Some other honorable mentions various categories of  the U.S. News & World Report rankings include the TLC Diet, the Mayo Clinic Diet, and the Mediterranean Diet. Nolan says diets that are easy follow and spell out what you eat, make it easier to stick to them in the long run, consequently leading to long-term benefits.  "Our lives are so busy, people just don't spend much time making really conscious choices around everything that they eat," Nolan added. It's those choices that make a huge difference in any successful weight loss program, according to that Dr. Vincent Bufalino, cardiologist and spokesperson for the American Heart Association. "It's what you're consuming that drives the biggest success," he said. "If you can reduce calories and the composition of what you're eating, then you're likely to be successful." Bufalino suggests tackling weight loss in pieces. If you lose 10 pounds, then set a new goal in June or July.  If you fall off the wagon, get refocused because the payoff of maintaining a healthy weight is great. "High blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, sedentary lifestyle – all four of those are tied to your weight," he said. "We know that weight loss in each of those categories gives us benefit." When lifestyle factors are controlled, heart disease risk can be lowered. For someone who already has heart disease, maintaining a healthy lifestyle is critical. Bufalino and Nolan agree that to successfully lose weight, one should focus about 70% diet and 30% exercise. The type of diet that worked for your best friend may not be the same one that works for you, Nolan says.  She suggests first identifying your weak areas and what will work for your lifestyle.  Then be patient.  She says two important rules for any diet plan: plan ahead and write it down. "Allow yourself to take it slow." Bufalino said. "People want their weight loss really quickly and that's not the reality." Filed under: Healthy Eating , Nutrition Tagged: Georgiann Caruso – CNN Medical Associate Producer

If you’re craving something salty, don’t reach for greasy potato chips. Here are 15 low-calorie healthy snacks that are sure to satisfy your salty desires. Four-ounce snack-size container of low-fat cottage cheese: 81 calories , 459 mg of sodium Salted cashews (16 nuts): 147 calories , 77 mg of sodium One and a half cups of edamame in pods: 150 calories , 45 mg of sodium Two and a half cups of oil-popped popcorn: 138 calories , 243 mg of sodium A quarter of an avocado ( 80 calories , 4 mg of sodium) topped with one tablespoon salted sunflower seeds ( 47 calories , 33 mg of sodium): 127 calories, 37 mg of sodium Continue reading to see 10 more salty snacks under 150 calories.

Public Citizen is calling for federal inspectors general to investigate the deaths of two patients who were transfused with contaminated blood this summer that came from the Bethesda National Naval Medical Center. The hospital, now part of the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, sent blood to the NIH that had previously been identified and labeled as infectious, yet it was infused into two patients at NIH, according to Sidney M. Wolfe, director of Public Citizen’s Health Research Group. Wolfe, in a letter to Defense Secretary Leon Panetta and Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius , calls for the two departments’ inspectors general to investigate and to “stop unequivocally dangerous procedures” at the Bethesda medical facility and “possible problems” at NIH. Wolfe says his information came from an unnamed physician (called “Dr. X” in the letter) who had been involved in the care of one of the two patients. This doctor didn’t know the blood platelets from the donated blood were infectious until his patients went into septic shock on July 25. Septic shock, a form of severe bloodstream infection, can lead to multiple organ failure. That is what transpired with this patient, who died on Sept. 7. The other patient infused with the infected platelets also developed septic shock and died in August, Wolfe writes. Officials at NIH and Walter Reed didn’t respond immediately to requests for comment. According to Wolfe’s letter, Dr. X  sent the blood platelet container to the NIH pathology department and found the platelets were “grossly contaminated” with Morganella bacteria “that can injure or kill patients with compromised immune systems.” Wolfe says the two patients did in fact have compromised immune systems from getting chemotherapy treatment, and that both had the one unusual type of bacterial infection. Wolfe asks the two federal agencies to investigate circumstances of the deaths, which he says “were entirely preventable.” Image: Associated Press

In May, Sen. Claire McCaskill tweeted that she needed a change. “I'm tired of looking and feeling fat. Maybe talking about it publicly will keep me on track as I try to be more disciplined.  Off to the gym.” Her tweet was picked up by the blog Jezebel , which wrote that, “women, no matter what their role in public life, face a greater social penalty for being ‘fat.’” The Missouri Democrat tweeted later that day:  “I just want to feel better, be in better shape. Healthier as I approach my late (gulp) 50s.” Her plan included healthy foods every three hours, cardio and Twitter. “Of course there is the diet and exercise component,” said her trainer, Charles D’Angelo.  “What every program is missing is what holds it all together. It’s like a stool – one being exercise, the other being diet.  It’s missing the third leg to keep the stool balanced.  You have to hold yourself accountable. Claire used social media to keep herself publicly accountable.” So she told her 59,000 Twitter followers that she was struggling with her weight and planned to do something about it. “That was totally Claire’s idea,” said D’Angelo.  “Accountability is part of the mindset.  You have to have something keep your accountable.” Five months after her first Tweet about her weight, McCaskill tweeted : “GOOAALLLLLLLL!! I did it! Lost 50 lbs. Thank you Team Charles and my new BFF… Mr Treadmill. Healthy food and lots of exercise.” The fact that a U.S. senator with a hectic schedule can find time to exercise, “blows the whole myth” that people are too busy to exercise “to pieces,” D’Angelo said. “We all have the same number of hours in the day. What I decide to do with those will bring about a result and consequence.  That consequence can be a  positive or negative consequence,” he said. Aside from her usual tweets about congressional committees, town hall meetings, Joplin, and the Cardinals, McCaskill occasionally posted updates about her fitness goal. – This will be a test. Can I be disciplined about healthy food choices in midst of family chaos? Typically food takes center stage. May 21st – Re: State Fair visit.  Since I've been on this health kick I guess a funnel cake is out of the question? Aug 11th – It's official. I have divorced bread and pasta. I'm hoping someday we can be friends again. Sep 9 Using social media such as Twitter and Facebook to get feedback is a free tool to get encouragement and comments. “Those two things, for free, you create an accountability group,” D’Angelo said.  “It’s a wonderful tool to bring about unity.  The comments, it only fuels the fire to keep with  it.  It’s a wonderful tool to keep with a mindset.” There is no gee-whiz factor or magic potion in what McCaskill’s trainer recommended. He tells clients to exercise five times a week, from 30 to 60 minutes, doing something as basic as walking on the treadmill on a 4% incline. D’Angelo bans caloric drinks such as juices, smoothies, soda and energy drinks. They are advised to eat three hours a day and D’Angelo puts them on a strict eating plan for the first two weeks. Here’s a sample menu: 6.a.m: breakfast with two eggs, piece of whole wheat toast, or a protein shake with whey protein and berries 9 a.m.: piece of fruit or one ounce serving of unsalted almonds Noon: turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread with a banana 3 p.m.: low sugar yogurt 6 p.m.: lean meat or fish, green vegetable such as broccoli 9 p.m. : another piece of fruit, “The psychological part is taking away the variety so they are no longer spontaneous in their habits with food,” D’Angelo said.  “It’s doable. It’s not that hard.  They start seeing results, feeling results and they’re able to stick with it. It’s reaffirming work.” After 14 days, the client gets more variety in his or her food choices. D’Angelo draws from his own experience, having weighed 360 pounds when he was in high school. “The most important thing is getting to a place where they’re holding themselves accountable,” he said.  “They’re not trying to fill emotional sadness, boredom with food.  It’s making food as basic as hygiene, that this is what I do to fuel my body, to keep myself healthy.”

Running in the woods by yourself sounds a little dangerous - especially to your mom – but depending on where you live, your running ability, and your personalty, a solo run in the woods is the perfect idea. Here are some ways to ensure your safety when hitting the trails on your own. Bring your dog: OK, so technically you’re not alone if you bring your pooch, but if you’re nervous about hitting the trails by yourself, a furry friend will offer you company and protection. Put a bell on the collar so the noisy jingle can help scare away critters. Tell someone where you’re going: If you saw the movie 127 hours , you know that the whole ordeal might have been prevented if he just told one person where he went. Pick up the phone on your way out the door and tell a close friend or relative where you’re running and what time you should be back. Make a deal that you’ll call, text, or email them once you return, and if you don’t and they can’t get in touch with you, they should seek out help. If you’re heading out before anyone is up, leave a note with your route and ETA. Keep reading for more solo trail running safety tips.

If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is, right? I always find the infomercials produced by diet pill companies entertaining; you know, the ones where they promise significant weight loss in just one to two weeks. I’m sure if I drastically restricted my food intake and took appetite-suppressant medications for seven or more days, then these claims might not be so far off. But at what cost? When we surveyed you all on this topic a while back, many of you answered that you had tried diet pills before . Although I’m not part of this group, I’ve often wondered if these pills are worth it - and by worth it, I mean, are they worth enduring some of the less than desirable side effects like cramping, gas, diarrhea, and increased blood pressure and heart rate to shed pounds the “quick fix” way? What happens when you stop taking the pills? And are the pills that are supposed to be used in conjunction with physical activity and a well-balanced diet any better? Keep reading to learn more on the health risks associated with these drugs.

These knock-out celebs choose kickboxing, and the results are pretty obvious. Forget being a damsel in distress – kickboxing is a self-defense workout that includes empowering karate kicks and boxing punches. Beyond training to be hot, kick-ass leading ladies in action films, these celebs love kickboxing, because it doubles as a strength-training session and a high-endurance, cardio workout. Like other martial art forms, kickboxing also improves self-confidence, courage, and strength. Read more about these five kickboxing celebs who talk about the benefits of their go-to workout. View Slideshow ›